


Battle of the Bots!

by BarracudaHeart, CosmicTanzanite



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Comedy, Competition, Gen, Insecurity, Inventors, Mecha Battle, Rivalry, Robots, scientists - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 19:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19235707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarracudaHeart/pseuds/BarracudaHeart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicTanzanite/pseuds/CosmicTanzanite
Summary: Two inventors battle to claim rights to a newly discovered element, but one of them is battling something entirely different at the same time.





	Battle of the Bots!

“And when you pressed the button originally designed to eject the toast from the machine, it would take you back to whatever time you set the lever to!” 

Gyro beamed proudly as the showed off a long-scrapped invention of his to Huey and Webby, who looked on in awe at what appeared to be nothing but a simple toaster. 

“So this thing would really take you back in time?” Webby gasped. “That’s amazing! I wanna try!” 

The excitable duckling made a quick grab for the invention, but Gyro gently yanked it backward from her as quickly as he could. 

“Oh no! You don’t want to mess with my old time toaster. It’s hardly operable. The blasted piece of metal would only take me back a few hours and shock the ever-living daylights out of me whilst I traveled there.” Gyro rolled his eyes and placed the toaster down in a cart next to him. “Besides, I learned that other household appliances are a lot more efficient when it comes to time travel.”

“Awww, what does this little guy do?” a voice called from the corner of the storage room.

Gyro and the kids turned to see Launchpad holding a robot shaped like a small kitten. A panicked screech left the inventor’s throat as he leapt to grab it from Launchpad right as he gave it a gentle pet on top of the head. After he did so, the robotic feline’s eyes lit up bright red, and Gyro caught it as it fired lasers from them. They hit directly into the wall of the storage room, leaving two rather sizable marks which weren’t favorable but better they go there than in Launchpad’s face. 

“That was a security bot I made a few years ago when my pesky, cat-loving neighbor wouldn’t stop dumping the contents of her pets’ litter boxes outside my doorstep,” he sighed, gingerly placing the robot on top of the cart where several other inventions were piling up. “It worked, but Mr. McDuck had to give my apartment complex a few extra dollars so I wouldn’t get evicted.”

Suddenly Fenton’s head popped into the entry of the storage closet. Manny was behind him with Lil Bulb riding on his shoulder, and they both gave a curt wave to the others.

“Dr. Gearloose! Did you finish cleaning out the storage room? Manny and Bulb are here to take the excess inventions off.”

Gyro took one last look at the cart and brushed his hands together, nodding. “I believe so. I’m sure there’s more doodads in here we’ll never even think about touching, but there’s always next time.”

That being said, Manny stepped into the room, having to duck to avoid hitting his head on the top of the doorway. He took the handle of the cart and pushed it out, giving a nod to his boss and the kids before walking out and down the hallway to dispose of it.

“There’s still so much in here,” Huey noticed, glancing around the room. “You sure are productive, Dr. Gearloose!”

“Oh, please,” Gyro mused, “these aren’t even all of my inventions. The storage room only consists of those that have failed… which is…. quite a lot of them, but that doesn’t matter. Who is a great inventor if he doesn’t have a few slip-ups in his time, correct?”

"That's right!" Webby grinned, hopping on top of a crate. "All of the greats in science dealt with failure after failure before they found success!"

Gyro gently scoffed, "Well, now you're talking like I haven't ever had a successful invention."

"Have you?"

"Of course!" The inventor was almost offended. "Lil' Bulb!"

Huey and Webby glanced at each other. "Okay...what else?"

Gyro opened his mouth to retort, but after a few contemplative seconds of silence and drawing a blank, he clacked his beak shut.

"Certainly more than in your lifetimes, children," he muttered, deciding he would have to later look at his track record. "No matter! Today marks an eventious occasion. I have discovered an entirely new element during my research! And I've called it...Gyronium!"

He held up a vial of glowing aqua-green material and gave it a gentle shake. Immediately all of the lights in the room shone three times as bright for several seconds, and Huey felt his phone get warm. Looking at it, he gasped, "My battery just got fully charged!"

Gyro gave a chuckle. "Of course. This little finding of mine is able to restore power to every energy source it comes in contact with in a several foot radius. It will absolutely change the way we charge our devices, even how we make batteries! You’ll never have to charge your phone again!"

Before Huey and Webby could express their amazement at Gyro's discovery, the door burst open, and the room immediately became 90 degrees more noxious.

"And that's why  _ I _ will be giving a demo of the new Never-charge Waddlephone,  _ completely _ powered and run on my new little discovery... _ BEAKSINITE _ !"

Almost immediately, Fenton’s expression became rather tense and annoyed. “Oh no! I just now remembered that super urgent and totally real thing I have to do in the privacy of my own lab. I’ll catch you later, Dr. Gearloose!”

Gyro gasped. “Hey! You left me to deal with him the last time! Get back…..here.”

He trailed off upon the realization that Mark had approached him, and his intern was long gone. Gyro cursed underneath his breath. 

“Beaks. Who let you in here?”  
“I let myself in. Hacked the security system, wasn’t hard at all. You really need to upgrade that thing, by the way. I’ve done this like, how many times now? Five? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? I don’t feel like counting, but you know what I mean.”

Gyro groaned. “I upgraded my high-tech security bots a week ago!”

“Well, guess it wasn’t enough. No surprise there.” The parrot grinned smugly. “Isn’t the first time you’ve invented something mediocre.”

Before Gyro could get another word in, he watched as Huey and Webby jumped in front of him to form a protective shield, and Launchpad gently grabbed his shoulder from behind. 

“Get lost, Beaks!” Webby snapped. “We’re not gonna let you hurt Dr. Gearloose!”

Mark raised an eyebrow in confusion for a second before letting out an obnoxious laugh. “You think I’m gonna beat him up or something? Nah, nah, that’s not why I’m here. I mean, I totally could if I wanted to and it’d be great, but that’s for another day.”

“Then why are you here?” asked Huey.

" I just wanted to invite y’all to my demo tomorrow. Let him get a taste of the newest technology advancements by Waddletech!"

"Newest..." Gyro squinted as he stared at the item in Mark's hand, then shot up in rage. "That's the Gyronium I discovered, you little thief!"

"Uhhh noooo, I'm pretty sure it's called Beaksinite, and I'm already on the course of selling 7 billion units of phones powered by it next month!" Mark gave double finger guns. "Profits, pew pew!"

"I discovered it first!" Gyro snapped.

"Got it notarized?" Mark smugly held up a few sheets of paper.

"I was going to this afternoon!"

"Snooze you lose, Screwloose!" Mark tutted, suddenly donning heelies as he skated circles around the irate chicken.

Gyro began making incoherent, furious noises as he pantomimed his hands strangulating Mark and mouthed expletives not kind for childrens' ears. Launchpad rushed over to him and grabbed him in a bear hug, attempting to calm him down. 

“Now, now, Gyro,” he said in a hushed tone as Gyro struggled to get free, “let’s not get ourselves sent to jail again! Mr. McDee won't be happy if he has to bail you out for a third time this year.”

"Well…" Huey folded his arms, "what if Gyro bought the namerights back from you?"

"Nice idea, Red, but what could possibly outvalue  _ this _ ?" Mark gestured to Gyro's temper tantrum as Launchpad held him back and took a few selfies with the enraged inventor in the backdrop.

Huey thought for a moment before his eyes lit up at the sign of an idea. "What about our uncle buying it?"

Mark stopped mid-selfie, rubbed his chin and smirked. "Now that, maybe, is promising. Good luck getting him to drop a penny on this stuff though. That old hag runs a tough bargain."

“Maybe for you, but Uncle Scrooge loves Dr. Gearloose!” Huey exclaimed, crossing his arms proudly. “He’d give up a fortune for him, trust me.”

“What’s all this about me giving up a fortune?”

Scrooge’s voice caught everyone off-guard, including Gyro who stopped his frantic struggling long enough for Launchpad to loosen his grip. The billionaire stepped into the storage room, eyes falling on everyone in the room until they settled on the one person who shouldn’t be there, and he gasped.

“You again! I should’ve known that was who dismantled the blasted security system!” He rubbed his forehead, glacing aside to Gyro. “You really need to update that thing.”

Gyro was about to open his beak to defend himself when Huey ran up to him and supportively grabbed his arm. 

“Uncle Scrooge, we need you to buy this element that Dr. Gearloose discovered first-”

“Debatable,” Mark coughed under his breath, causing Gyro, Launchpad and Webby to shoot him a glare.

“-from Mark Beaks so he can get the rights to it back!” Huey squeezed Gyro’s arm and beamed up at Scrooge. “He’s been really excited to debut it, and it would mean a lot to him if you’d help out, right Dr. Gearloose?”

“Well,” Gyro laughed modestly, walking to stand directly in front of Mark and block him from Scrooge’s view, “I’m not typically one to beg for these things, but it would save me a lot of emotional distress if you helped me out this one time, Mr. McDuck.” He clasped his hands together, forcing a smile despite how nervous he felt. “I’m certain that I discovered  _ Gyronium _ -”

“Beaksnite,” Mark muttered, earning him a not-so-gentle jab to the ribcage from Gyro’s elbow.

“-days prior to whenever this nobody managed to get his hands on my-”

“Nobody?” Mark gasped, clearly offended. “Excuse me, how many followers do you have?” 

“Why does that even matter?” Gyro retorted. “I’m doing real science while you’re wasting your life away on your cellphone!”

Upon Gyro’s latest remark, Mark’s teasing tone shifted into a slightly angrier one. “Hey! I have a presence to maintain! Maybe you should get one and keep up with the times so you stop getting left behind.”

Gyro rolled his eyes, leaning in closer to the parrot’s face. “I don’t have a need for a so-called “presence” because I put all my attention toward my work instead of a faulty persona that I use to trick others into thinking I’m actually worth their time. If you worked more like I do, then you wouldn’t need a “presence.” Maybe you could even come up with your own ideas if you-”

“Enough!”

Scrooge’s voice cut Gyro’s sentence off, and the two rival inventors turned their attention away from each other to the billionaire. He was rubbing his forehead out of frustration and tapping his cane against the ground.

“Can the two of you please stop going at each other’s throats long enough for me to negotiate with you?” Scrooge demanded, shaking his head. “Curse me kilts, you’re going to give me a headache!”

Mark gave Gyro a cocky grin when his boss shut him down, and it took every fibre of his being to not deck the CEO right then and there, but he held back for the sake of working something out. The sooner Mark got whatever he wanted, the sooner he wouldn’t have to deal with him for (hopefully) a long, long time.

“Now, how much do you want for this stuff?” Scrooge asked, turning to face Mark.

The parrot stuck the tip of his tongue out and tapped the bottom of his beak as he thought, until he finally clapped his hands together. “A million! No less, though more would be appreciated.”

“A million? No sale!” Scrooge shook his head, then looked at Gyro. “Sorry, but you’re on your own.”

“But Mr. McDuck-”

“Uncle Scrooge!” Huey and Webby cried.

“I’m not giving away that amount of money for something like this,” Scrooge walked to the elevator. “Figure this out yourselves!”

Gyro slouched in slight disbelief, his silent dismay quickly cut off by Mark piping up smugly, “So uh, I guess I’m keepin’ this stuff.”

“Wait a minute!” Huey pointed at him. “What if you two competed for it?”

“Scuse?”

“A battle of the brains!” Webby gasped in realization. “You both are accomplished men of science. It would make a good challenge for both of you!”

“Blech,” Gyro gagged.

“Boring,” Mark grumbled.

“We could film it,” Webby suggested.

“Publicity?” The parrot perked up, giving a thoughtful glance down at his phone, then grinned. “Ooh, I’m game.”

Gyro sputtered, “N-Now just a minute here-”

“What’s the matter?” Mark crossed his arms. “Chicken?”

“No! I mean, biologically yes but…I just don’t see the point in having to prove myself to you!”

“Ah well, guess this Beaksinite is gonna be on the market without delay then!”

Gyro seethed for several seconds, then gritted his teeth. “Ugh. Fine.”

“Shake on it!” Huey insisted. “Winner gets to claim the element.”

“And be my new best friend!” Launchpad added. 

Both birds looked at him in confusion.

“...No? Okay then.”

“And gets to claim the title of best scientist in Duckburg!” Mark suggested.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Gyro muttered.

“Afraid you’ll lose?”

Gyro spasmed in rage for a few seconds then calmed with a huff, grunting. “Fine.”

The two firmly shook on the bet for a second before Gyro pulled his hand back in disgust toward Mark.

“Did you  _ spit  _ in your hand?”

“Makes bets way more fun!”

“Ugh!”

* * *

 

“Alright!” Huey announced, a bright grin on his face. “Before we start the competition, let’s go over a few ground rules.”

“What!? Rules?” Mark cut in before the duckling could say another word. “Why do we have rules?”

Huey rolled his eyes. “To make the competition fair. It’s a requirement.” 

Mark crossed his arms, scoffing. “Okay, first of all, Beaks don’t do rules, and second of all, I think you already messed up with making this competition “fair” when you set it at the launchpad of your uncle’s company.”

The duckling fluffed up a bit in embarrassment. “Because there’s nowhere else in Duckburg fit for the activities we have planned!”

“Well, then maybe you should’ve let me plan it! I’m the best at planning things, just ask anyone who’s ever been to one of my parties. Ohhh!” He pumped his fist in the air and smirked at Huey, who blinked at him in confusion.

“I mean, if you- wait, that wouldn’t be fair either!”

While Mark argued with a child, Gyro was standing on the other side of Huey. Fenton was there with him, listing off a checklist they’d prepared the night before.

“Did you make sure all the chemicals in the vials provided were the ones originally meant to be there?” the duck asked, tapping the pencil he held against the clipboard in his other hand.

“Yes,” Gyro said with a nod, looking in the other direction. 

“And did you get an extra screwdriver? You can never go wrong with two screwdrivers!”

“I believe so.” 

Fenton frowned, seeming to notice how tense his coworker had become. He very slowly lifted a hand toward Gyro’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry about Beaks. I’ve dealt with him before, too many times to count, and he’s all talk. Trust me, you’re a gazillion times smarter than him. You’re-”

“I don’t need a pep talk from you, Cabrera,” Gryo snapped, turning his shoulder away from his intern’s touch. “I’ve got this under control.”

“Are you sure?” Fenton asked. “Because you’re awfully sweaty. Oh, if you want, I can get you a towel! Manny brought some, and he’s just over-”

“Will you just go to the bleachers already and stop doting over me as if I’m a child?” Gyro took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before his impulsive outburst got any worse. “I will be fine. Don’t worry.”

Fenton didn’t look too convinced, but he had no other choice but to nod. “If you say so. I’ll be rooting for you!” 

He gave Gyro a pat on the back before rushing over to the sidelines, scooting in-between Launchpad and Manny. Lil Bulb was sitting on the man-horse’s shoulder, waving a flag with Gyro’s face on it, and Webby was on the other side of Launchpad, giving the inventor a thumbs up that put a smile on his face for a fraction of a second. Then, Scrooge stepped onto the scene, ending the heated debate between Mark and Huey.

“Are we ready?” he asked, raising a brow at the competitors. “I don’t have all day for this.”

“Alright, first challenge!” Huey looked at his meticulously prepared cards. “Both contestants will invent a machine that can create a piece of artwork on the canvases provided over here.” He gestured to the easels. “You have an hour to invent, and ten minutes to paint! You’ll be judged both on the invention and artistic skill!”

Mark raised his hand. “Isn’t art subjective?” 

“Yes, except when art is unanimously bad, which is why I’m having them be judged blindly by your model, Flintheart Glomgold!” He gestured to the rival billionaire who walked out into view all of a sudden.

“Flinty?!” Scrooge gasped in disbelief.

“You have to be joking!” Gyro scoffed.

“Where’s tha’ ponae I was promased?!” the other shouted, looking around angrily. “Ya said I’d get a ponae!”

“In a stable. You’ll get it later.” Huey waved him off. “Inventors! On your mark...”

Gyro wiggled his fingers over his trusty wrench and glared viciously at his opponent.

“Get set…”

Mark readied his livestream camera for all of his followers and gave an annoying wink to Gyro.

“GO!”

As soon as they received the cue to start, both inventors were quick to jump to their stations and get to work. Upon the start of the competition, Gyro felt rather lax. He couldn’t foresee Mark being able to build anything within ten minutes with how flighty and easily distracted he was, let alone even a day. Plus, he’d made much more complex robots in the past that performed much more grueling tasks within even less of a time frame. Surely he had this one in the bag!

It took Gyro about eight minutes to put together the robot, which was a rather simple invention that looked like a robotic arm protruding from a metal box with a lightbulb at the top of that functioned as a head. Sure, it could have been a bit prettier had he been given more time, but it would fulfill the function needed as adequately as possible. Again, he wasn’t expecting much from his competitor, not even buying him a glance as he worked in fear that it might catch him off-guard.

Once he’d turned the invention on, Gyro directed it toward its task with a curt nod. The wheel on the bottom of the robot’s box-like body sprung out, and it went to work on the canvas within the remaining three minutes. While the art wasn’t exactly the best thing Gyro had seen and looked a bit like something drawn by a toddler, it had to be enough and was completed exactly ten seconds before the timer sounded. 

Gyro breathed a sigh of relief and stood at a proud stance, puffing out his chest as Glomgold made his way over to where the results of the competition were on display. Once he reached Gyro’s, the duck’s eyes grew wide in response, and he jotted something down on his clipboard. After he finished judging both pieces, he handed the clipboard to Huey, who pointed to his right toward what was likely the stables, causing Glomgold to run off in that direction. 

When the duckling looked down at the results, shock was present on his face, and he shook his head. “I don’t believe it.” 

“Impressive, yes?” Gyro mused.

“The winner is…..” Huey sighed, defeated. “Mark Beaks.”

“As I knew it would- WHAT!?”

“BAM! In your face!” 

The obnoxious cry of joy startled Gyro from his already shocked state, and he turned to see Mark staring him down with an irritatingly sly grin. 

“I….but how!?” 

Gyro let his eyes wander to the other’s side, where he was greeted with a surprisingly well-drawn image of Flintheart Glomgold. Next to the canvas was a small drone-like robot with two long arms, one of which was holding a paintbrush. 

“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I forgot to mention,” Mark cut in, “I started taking art classes a few months ago. Turns out the public digs a guy with artistic ability, but you wouldn’t know anything about that. After all, having a presence is worthless, right?” He gave a haughty laugh. “Anyway, I used what I learned from that, incorporated it into my cool new little robot buddy Bottatello over there- say hi!” The robot gave a friendly wave with its free hand. “-And totally crushed the competition! That means you.” He pointed to Gyro, still wearing that self-assured little smirk on his beak that made the other inventor want to wipe his face on the pavement until it rubbed off.

“B-But…” Gyro gulped, trying to grab for whatever little pride he had left. “I finished first, right? That should be taken into account! This is a science competition after all, not an art crawl.”

“Actually,” Huey piped up, “he did.”

A startled gasp left Gyro’s throat, and he turned to face Mark again, feeling both anger and some other emotion he’d swallowed back for months.

“Yup,” Mark replied, typing away at his phone and leaning against the canvas, not even bothering to look at Gyro as he spoke. “We were done before your bot even started painting. Who’s the nobody now, Screwloose?” 

Mark high-fived his robot and took a quick selfie with it while Gyro looked on in dismay, unable to form a reply.

"Don't let this stop you, Dr. Gearloose!" Webby loudly cheered from the bleachers. "Art is subjective!"

“Yeah!” Fenton added. “Don’t give up after one round. You’ve still got this!”

Launchpad, Manny and Lil Bulb joined the two in a round of applause, but it admittedly didn’t make Gyro feel any better. He tried his hardest to return a smile to his supporters, but it came across as very forced.

"Ok, round two!" Huey announced. "Both contestants will now invent a machine or robot capable of cooking a meal in 60 minutes! Your meals will then be judged by...Gladstone?"

Huey looked over to the guest Webby had invited, and the lucky gander gave a lackadaisical shrug. "Can't turn down the offer of free food."

"Uhhh, okay then! Are both contestants ready?"

"I was ready before this thing even started," Mark dismissed, taking another victory selfie from the first round.

"Okay….Gyro?"

Gyro was frantically leafing through a cookbook and snapped out of it in a panic. "O-of course!"

"On your mark...get set...go!"

Immediately, it was a flurry of motion as both inventors rushed to create their candidates. Mark managed to livestream and narrate what he was doing while he worked via the hands-free Waddlephone accessory.  

"And the WaddleGrubBuddy also comes with its own cup-holder so it can cook for you  _ and _ hold your chai latte at once! And now I'm installing the-"

Gyro tried his best to block out the rambling from the other's bragging and come up with something with twice as much speed and finesse, but it was hard to deny that the last round had left him pretty shaken up. He ripped page after page out of the cookbook, sliding it into his copy-machine inspired invention, wanting it to gain knowledge of various dishes. Unfortunately, like any piece of technology from the 80s, it was dated and inevitably jammed before his eyes, spitting out smoke.

He let out a panicked yelp and tried to fan the emerging flames before the contraption caught fire right in front of him. Gyro made a lunge for the nearby fire extinguisher Fenton had been adamant he take with him and started spraying it down. The inventor hardly noticed as Mark edged closer to his station and showcased the frantic chicken’s distress to his several viewers.

“Uh oh waddlers, looks like my competitor over here’s having some issues,” he said with a laugh, turning to Gyro. “Smile for the camera!”

“Shut up!” Gyro grumbled back at him, feeling the pressure weighing down on him as the timer ticked on.

After a few more minutes and sprays with the fire extinguisher, Gyro finally got the invention to function...well, mostly. It still wasn’t working like it should and seeing that he’d wasted so much time simply getting it to its most basic operative stage, he’d have to go with the only recipe that wasn’t jammed into the machine and therefore ruined. He squinted at the only piece of paper left where the cookbook previously was and almost gagged when he saw the display: a sardine pizza. Gyro definitely wasn’t one for sardines, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would find that the least bit appetizing. Then, he turned to look at his competitor, currently pulling a pretty solid icingless cake out of his smaller oven-like invention and showing it off to the livestream and realized that it was the sardine pizza or nothing.

Gyro fed the remaining recipe to the machine and crossed his fingers when he heard the whirrings of its inner workings, hoping it was doing what it was made to do. Then, about fifteen anxiety-ridden minutes later and five minutes before their time was up, the machine started to spit something out. Before he saw the finished product, Gyro glanced toward Mark once more to see he had completed the task and was now taking multiple selfies with a beautifully decorated cake with light pink icing. 

“Did that hack take cooking classes too?” Gyro muttered to himself, hardly noticing that his dish had been stuck in his invention until the machine let him know with a loud beep.

Screaming in shock and fear, Gyro flipped around and pulled open the door. He thrust an oven mit-clad hand into the invention and took out the finished product which didn’t look that finished at all. Gyro placed it on the table in front of him and immediately noticed all the glaring mistakes he’d made: the crust was burnt almost to a crisp, there were more sardines than favorable, and worst of all, the machine didn’t registered that it needed cheese so it was really just a bunch of dead fish and tomato sauce on top of nuked bread. 

“Time’s up!” Huey announced along to the ding of the timer before Gyro could even consider doing something about his atrocious dish. 

As Gladstone approached the two competitors, a rock-sized lump sank in the chicken’s stomach. He made his way over to Mark’s dish first, of course, wearing an equally smug grin as the other inventor.

“What do we have here?”

“Well, technically it’s a raspberry and cream cheese layer cake, but I’ve dubbed it the ‘Beaksberry Surprise’!” He held his arms out as he proudly proclaimed what he’d named the cake, drawing out the last two words. “I called it that because there’s a special surprise inside. Take a bite and see if you can figure it out! The camera’s watching.” 

Mark held up his phone and zoomed in on Gladstone as he took the first bite, eager to capture the winning moment. Gyro rolled his eyes as he watched, but his insides felt as if they were flopping about with nerves while he watched the goose’s expression as he chewed and swallowed the cake.

“Sooooooooo…” Mark leaned in, almost pressing his phone into Gladstone’s face.

“Wow. That is surprising!” Gladstone licked his bill, and Gyro had to stop himself from fainting with anxiety. “I thought it would have more flavor.”

Mark’s excited expression faltered, and Gyro perked up. “Wait, what do you mean? There’s like a gallon of flavor in this baby!”

“Sorry buddy,” Gladstone laughed, “but I think your phones are a bit more impressive than your cooking.” He made a sudden disgusted expression and spit something into his hand that looked like a blue ball of dried-up lint. “Eugh! What did you feed me? A rock?”

The parrot whined in frustration. “Nooooo! That’s a Super-Ultra-Mega BangRock! Y’know, that candy from the 90’s that explodes in your mouth? I thought it’d add some pizazz to the cake! Pop things up a little, get it? Because they pop? That’s a good one, actually. Let me post that real fast.” He whipped out his phone and began frantically typing as Gladstone studied the candy. 

“Wait a minute,” Huey piped up, “didn’t they discontinue those things before I was even born?”

“I dunno,” Mark said with a shrug. “I found them online. I was super bored, and they’re super rare, and I’m also super rich, and yeah, you get the drift. Expiration dates are fake by the way, science fact. Annnnd send!” He put his phone back in the pocket of his jacket and grinned at Gladstone again. “Anyway, final verdict?”

The goose coughed and rolled his eyes, flicking the candy off into the bleachers. “Yeah, I think I’m done with this.” He shoved the slice of cake with a single bite taken out of it back to Mark, shaking his head as he walked over to Gyro’s station.

Although Mark’s meal still hadn’t gone as planned, Gyro’s nerves refused to settle as Gladstone walked over to the mess he had planned. He could feel the crowd’s disappointed faces staring down on the shameful display, and it made him want to take off running as far as he could. 

“What is that?” Gladstone asked as Gyro handed him a slice of his creation, which could hardly even be called pizza.

“It was meant to be a sardine-topped cheese pizza, but we had a few, um...technical difficulties. Nonetheless, I hope it’s enjoyable!”

After taking his first bite, Gladstone’s face was unable to discern for a while, but before anyone could question him, he began to devour the slice of pizza as if he hadn’t had a meal in decades. Gyro and the rest of the crowd watched in shock until the goose had eaten all of his serving and more, leaving absolutely nothing in place of the messy dish. 

“Ahhhh,” he sighed once he was done, letting out a burp. “That was the best thing I have ever tasted, hands down.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Gyro asked, wringing his hands. “Because I wasn’t so sure about it.”

“Are you kidding me, bowtie? Sardines are my favorite pizza topping in the world!”

“Really?” The inventor shook his head. “But it was burnt!”

“I like my pizza kinda crispy.”

“B-But...it didn’t even have any cheese on it!”

Gladstone shrugged. “Well, I’m not a huge cheese fan. I’m actually lactose intolerant.”

“Huh…” Gyro suddenly frowned. “But Beaks’ cake had cream cheese in it.”

Gladstone’s expression went from satisfied to mortified. “That it did. Huh.” He gulped before giving the other a rather rough pat on the back, grinning nervously. “Guess I’d better get outta here then. Oh, and Red Hat, this guy wins, hands down. Later!”

Gyro began to laugh in disbelief, which then turned into maniacal cackling over his victory. He gave double flip-offs in Mark's direction. "OHHHAHAHAH! IN YOUR  _ FACE,  _ BEAKS!"

"What the heck?" Mark deflated, staring at his phone livestream as Gyro continued to laugh like a madman.

"Alright, Gyro, calm down, we've got another round!" Huey tried to keep the contest civil on both sides.

Gyro was still trying to stifle tiny giggles as Huey cleaned the turf for the next competition, paying no attention to the silent, seething rage of Mark Beaks.

He had no idea how a nerd like Gearloose could get an edge over him like that, and there was no way he could let it happen again. He knew how the ways of the world worked. The losers would stay losers, and the winners would  _ crush _ them. Leafing through files on his phone, Mark found archived bits and pieces of projects past and masked a wicked grin.

He was a winner, and he had a loser to crush  _ once and for all. _

* * *

"Final round!" Huey read off his card. "Both contestants will invent something of their choice in sixty minutes and present it to the panel of judges right here!"

The three vultures sat in fold-up chairs, slightly unimpressed. "We don't have all day."

"Wh- Huey, my investors?!" Scrooge yelped.

"Sorry, Uncle Scrooge, but my original guest dropped out for...medical reasons.”

* * *

"YOU CAN'T HOLD ME HERE! NIK NOCTURNE MUST MAKE HIS APPEARANCE YET AGAIN! I NEVER CANCEL!” screeched Black Arts Beagle in spite of scratching frantically at his neck while sat in a bathtub with Burger, Bouncer and at least six other siblings.

"Ah, shaddup and let me rub the flea cream on ya!" snapped Ma irritably, dipping the paint roller in the bucket of ointment again. "What did I tell you good for nothin' kids about buryin' loot in the tall grass?"

"We'd get bugs…" they all mumbled in unison.

"I shoulda raised a bunch of goldfish instead," Ma grumbled.

* * *

"Alright, if there are no other questions, are the contestants ready to begin?"

"Yes.” Mark and Gyro both glared at each other.

“Then let’s end this thing once and for all!” Huey held his finger against the timer. “3... 2….1….now!” 

As soon as the duckling gave them the signal to begin, Gyro was quick to leap into action. He wasn’t too concerned with this. After all, he’d gotten a confidence boost from the last round, and it wasn’t like he’d never pitched anything to these old buzzards before. However, he couldn’t help but feel nervous when he became aware of his competitor and how they were equally tied. Scrooge’s board of investors didn’t particularly care for his stuff half the time as well, and there was still a chance that they’d prefer whatever Mark handed them no matter how lazily put-together it was.

Knowing that Mark would no doubt take this as an opportunity to make the most obnoxiously intricate invention in the world, he came to the conclusion that he needed something big and showy. Gyro had to create an invention that would really shock the crowd, Mark especially and crush the snobby parrot into dust. But what? He racked his brain for nearly ten minutes, becoming even more frantic when he realized Mark had probably been able to get a head start on him once more. 

Right when the feelings of failure were about to creep back up on him at full force, he glanced over to the bleachers. He instantly made eye contact with Fenton, who gave a good-natured cheer that should have made his heart warm but instead reminded him that he had a crowd to please- or more realistically, to disappoint. Gyro looked to the side of Fenton, feeling his insides knot up even more as he glanced at Webby, Launchpad, Manny and Lil Bulb, who gave him the closest thing to a thumbs-up he could muster. 

That, if anything, made Gyro relax enough to give the small robot a smile. At least Lil Bulb’s progress was going well, even if he didn’t plan on mass-producing robots like him anymore. The bot was faring much better than he had been when he was first created and tried to destroy everyone in the money bin after he’d managed to plug himself into a vessel much too powerful for a robot of his size, going absolutely mad with said power. 

“That’s it!” Gyro gasped out loud, an idea popping into his head. 

He glanced to Mark, who was working away at something that he couldn’t really make out at the moment, unable to keep himself from chuckling as he gathered the parts that he’d need to complete the wonderful invention he had mind. Whatever that rich snob was planning, it surely wasn’t going to be as mind-blowing as this.

When it came time to present, Gyro couldn’t help but feel a little smug at what he had hidden under the sheet. Nothing Beaks made would be able to compare!

“If it would be possible, I’d like to present first!” he offered.

“Uh, common courtesy is to let the  _ second place winner _ from the last round go first,” Mark countered.

“Second place is losing.” 

Before Mark could retort, he yanked the sheet off of his creation, revealing it to be a large lightbulb-controlled mecha.

“I give you...Bulbtron! With a simple 50-watt bulb, you have yourself your own life-sized robot to control! Now when I climb inside, you’ll see that-”

“Hey, cheater!”, Mark shouted. “You stole my idea!” He pulled the sheet off of his similarly built mechanical marvel. “Waddletron was hours in the making...in my head!”

“Oh you  _ wish _ I’d have stolen your pathetic idea,” Gyro scoffed. “Bulbtron here is state-of-the-art and capable of-”

“You ever gonna build anything that doesn’t run on a grandpa’s hardware store specialty?” Mark spat back.

“When you build anything not built on the labor of puffins in the arctic,” Gyro countered, resulting in a gasp from the audience. “Yeah, I went there. Just Boogle it.”

“I mean, there’s no  _ real  _ ethical consumption under capitalism, if we wanna get political...” Mark was trying to keep his image pristine for the livestream he was still running.

“Oh, buddy, you don’t want to get political with me, I will eviscerate you in any Quacksbook argument you throw at me-”

“Whaaat? Nobody uses that site anymore! What are you, 85?”

“It’s your property.”

“Wait for real?”

“Uhh, guys, the judging?” Huey piped up.

“Stay out of this!” both inventors snapped.

“Alright, Screwloose! We’re settling this like real men. Last guy and bot standing is the winner!”

“Already on it!” Gyro seethed, storming up the ladder of Bulbtron. “You want a robot? I’ll show you a robot!”

Mark’s enraged glare then dropped into a sinister grin, having gotten Gyro exactly where he wanted him. The chicken had been too busy trying to protect his image to notice Mark sauntering over to his robot, casually typing on his phone.

“Are...we still judging this?” one of the vultures whispered to his colleagues, who shrugged.

When they gave each other the signal that the competition had begun, Bulbtron, controlled by Gyro at the panel, charged at Waddletron with high speed. Without any resistance, Gyro had managed to shove the other mecha down to the ground, where it lay motionless for a few seconds.

Gyro began to laugh hysterically, thinking he just snagged an easy victory, not noticing the surge of electricity that flowed through Waddletron and springing it back to life. Before he even knew it, he was getting flung backward by the robot as it rose back up to standing.

“Ohhh yeah, forgot to mention one nifty feature of Waddletron. It’s powered almost _ entirely _ by nanites. And surprise, it’s not even used 10% of its power yet!”

Gyro whiteknuckled the controls of his robot in slight disbelief, swallowing hard as he saw the familiar spark of blue showering off Mark’s creation.

“And as a treat for my viewers,” Mark narrated into the phone, “let’s hashtag throwback Thursday this shiz.”

With a press of the button, an old recording of Fenton’s voice muttering the cursed phrase of  “Blathering Blatherskite” was heard over the speaker. Waddletron suddenly spasmed aggressively and the robot flexed along with Mark’s movement inside it as it gained an extensive amount of power.

“AWW YEAH!” the parrot shouted over the mic, excited at the amount of power he was now controlling. “Now, lemme show how much this baby packs a punch!”

With a swift right hook, Gyro’s robot was knocked to the ground, the shockwave from the impact rippling the ground below the bleachers enough to make the audience violently shake. The wind knocked out of him, Gyro hastily tried to regain control of Bulbtron and get back up, only to be met again with another blow from Mark.

“C’mon, Gearloose! At least make this a good challenge!”

Gyro managed to brace the third or fourth punch by trying to hold it back with his own robot’s hands, gritting his teeth as he spat out, “You’re not even a real inventor! We all know you just use your money to hire people with brains to do your work for you!” 

He managed to shove Mark’s robot backwards. It only skidded back a few feet, stopping itself with a violent stomp down into the bleachers. Those who didn’t scramble out of them by then were sent flying in a daze. Gyro yelped in horror seeing his friends land in a pile on the ground, only momentarily relieved that they didn’t seem hurt.

“Look out!” Fenton yelped, watching Mark’s robot leap and sucker punch Gyro’s in the stomach, enough to stun Gyro. 

The chicken hung on tight to the control panel. Powered both with nanites and rage, Waddletron was not letting up its brutal thrashing.

“And where do you think I get all that money? I get it from being successful!”  Mark laughed, controlling blow after blow. “You might have more ideas, but nowhere near the winnings I’ve got under my belt! I live on fame, charisma and swag, and you? Broken parts, broken dreams, broken promises to your mommy and daddy-”

“You leave my family out of this!” Gyro roared. He tried to retaliate but was immobilized by Waddletron grabbing Bulbtron’s limbs and throwing it to the ground over and over.

“You’re never gonna get anywhere the way you are!” Mark boomed over the speaker. “You think you’re something, Screwloose?!”

A slam to the side.

“You-”

Gyro was knocked from his control panel and to the floor.

“Ain’t-”

Mark grabbed the leg of Bulbtron and began to swing it in a circle, leaving Gyro plastered against the wall by the G-forces.

“ _ Nothing! _ ”

Waddletron released its opponent, sending it flying until it crashed into the deserted bleachers.

Gyro weakly slumped over the broken window of Bulbtron’s head, struggling to sit up, exhausted both physically and emotionally. He lifted himself on one arm before flopping back down in silent defeat.

“Gyro!” Huey yelped from his hiding spot with Webby, Manny, Lil Bulb, Launchpad and Fenton. The way Mark was behaving, powered on ego and technology, they were all in a pretty strong amount of danger.

“You have to stop him!” Webby called out.

Looking in the direction of the cries, Gyro screwed his eyes shut and shuddered. “I-I’m sorry...I’m not good enough to….I never was able to...I’m...” He swallowed hard, holding back tears. “I’m a failure.” 

“What?” Huey gasped. “No you’re not!”

“Yeah, Gyro!” Launchpad followed up, Manny and Lil Bulb backing him up in morse code. “He’s just being all mean and stuff!”

“I am, though!” Gyro choked out. “He’s right. I’m old-fashioned, and nothing I make even works anymore. I should just let him win.”

“No!” Webby urged him on. “Don’t give up, Dr. Gearloose!”

“But I don’t have  _ anything _ . Beaks has money and fame and fancy technology, and everything I have to bring to the table is something someone else already came up with years ago but, oh I don’t know, it explodes and nearly kills everyone this time!” He tried his hardest to stop tears from making their way to his eyes but failed, sighing heavily. “What do I have that he doesn’t?”

There was a pause filled with the sounds of Waddletron approaching Gyro. He shut his eyes tightly and prepared for what would surely be a painful second defeat. Then, before the showdown began, Fenton’s voice caught him off-guard.

“Well, you have us.”

Before Gyro could react, the ground beneath him shook, and Mark’s giant mecha towered above him. He looked up from inside his, eyes focusing on the parrot inside and his yellow eyes that were narrowing as he stared at the saddening display in front of him.

“Not even gonna fight back anymore? Wow, Screwloose, I gotta tell you, this is sad. I mean, I knew there was no way you were gonna beat me, but you went down even sooner than I thought you would!” Mark pushed down on the control that lifted Waddletron’s foot, preparing it to come down right on top Bulbtron, crushing Gyro and all. “Any last words before I totally  _ crush _ the competition?” 

However, instead of cowering and bracing himself, Gyro stared up at Mark blankly. Then, he laughed. His competitor screwed up his face in confusion. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! It’s just...oh goodness, that was a really good pun,” Gyro said between giggles. “You should post that on social media. Maybe take a picture to go with it? I think a lot of those followers you speak so fondly of would love that!”

Not to anyone’s surprise, Mark’s features lit up. “Hey, that’s not a bad idea! Hold on a sec.”

As he was busy typing the joke and snapping a quick photo, Gyro acted quickly. Pressing down as hard as he could on Bulbtron’s controls, he maneuvered the robot upwards while Mark wasn’t looking. Then, he used it to grab the giant foot that had previously been threatening to flatten him and used as much force as he could to flip Waddletron. Mark was caught completely off-guard and let out a yelp of surprise as the robot containing him was sent tumbling backwards rather forcefully and fell on its back with a loud thud that shook the entire launchpad. 

“Hey!” Mark screeched when it had landed, struggling to get it back up on its feet. “Do you know how long it takes me to get this thing back up?”

“I don’t care,” Gyro responded, using Bulbtron to run toward where Mark lay and pinning Waddletron down before it even had a chance to get back up on its feet. 

“What are you doing!?” Mark struggled to get his bot back upright, but Gyro’s was not loosening its grip. “You really think you can stop me when you have nothing that I don’t already have a better version of?”

Gyro narrowed his eyes, pressing down harder. “I do.”

“Oh really?” Mark spat. “What?”

The inventor looked over his shoulder at the suspenseful faces of Fenton, Huey, Webby and all the others who came to cheer him on. His beak settled into a smile.

“Friends.”

For a second, Mark’s eyes grew wide, and his beak dropped. His features slacked, and Gyro saw something in the loud-mouthed, obnoxious parrot that he’d never seen before: genuine distress. He actually appeared to be hurt. Then, while he was caught off-guard by the other’s unexpected reaction, Gyro hardly noticed as that hurt melted away and was replaced with a venomous stare and twisted smile. 

“Gee, Gyro, that’s touching and all, but you don’t need friends to  _ WIN! _ ”

Waddletron burst to life even more powerfully than before, grabbing Bulbtron as hard as it could and wasting no time when it came to making sure it no longer functioned. Mark used his mecha to violently slam the large, metal invention containing his competitor into the ground as hard as he could several times. His fists gripped the controls in a blind rage, and he showed no signs of stopping until Bulbtron was completely decimated. When the dust cleared, Gyro lay in a dazed heap atop his ruined robot. His clothes and hair were a mess, and he made no effort to get up.

Mark was quick to relish his victory, fistpumping the air. "BOOYEAH! I'M CHAMP! HOW'S THAT FOR A LOSER COACH-DAD...I mean, Gearloose?"

The parrot grinned when he saw the crowd running in his direction, and he immediately presumed it was in amazement at his epic win. "Alright, alright, now don't crowd me too much! Y’all can have a free WaddlePhone in celebration when I-"

"Dr. Gearloose, that was amazing!" Webby cheered as everyone crowded around Gyro and the wreckage, helping him up.

"You managed to knock Mark Beaks over for a while there! You built a really sturdy mecha!" Huey gushed. "It makes sense since you built the Gizmoduck armor, but-"

"Hey wait a minute, what about me?" Mark snapped irritably from behind the crowd. "I won! I'm the guy who's now by default the best scientist in Duckburg!"

"Have fun keeping that title," Fenton said with a shrug. "You'll have to work as hard as Gyro does to earn it."

"And you'll have to come up with all the cool doodads Gyro does every day! Like the pizza robot? Man I want one of those!" Launchpad grinned.

Gyro was pretty unsteady on his feet, but any sadness he had over defeat wasn't clear with the woozy grin and blushing from his friends' words. "Th-thanks, I-"

"But I won!” Mark tried once again to appeal to them. "I have the status the followers and now, namerights to Beaksinite! I am the  _ winner! _ ”

"So?" 

Huey brushed the bratty parrot off and followed the rest of the group as they walked out of the arena. Gyro was being helped along with a limp by Fenton, who worriedly suggested he visit urgent care for some proper medical treatment.

"I really don't need a doctor. I've been through worse."

"Gyro, an arm doesn't bend that way…"

Mark watched them leave in disbelief and disgust as he turned his attention back to his livestream.

"Well, there you have it. I, your beloved Mark Beaks, am now the rightfully titled SMARTEST MAN IN DUCKBURG! What do y'all say to that?"

He waited expectantly for the throng of followers and stream chat messages congratulating him. His phone immediately pinged, and his grin dropped when he read the message and the many like it that followed.

_ Does the other guy have social media? I wanna follow him! _ _   
_

* * *

"Sorry about you losing rights to your discovery, Dr. Gearloose."

Huey put the toolbox on the inventor's desk. For the last several days, he and Webby had been extra hands in the lab since Gyro's arm was currently set in a sling until it healed.

"Don't be," Gyro tutted, holding up his phone with his good arm, revealing an article: ' **_Beaksinite Combustible-_ ** _ Waddle demo goes up in flames when phone batteries explode after three minutes of use.' _

"Whoo...you really dodged a bullet I guess." Webby looked at the photos and video of Mark trying to put out the fire on top of his head.

“Naturally,” Gyro replied with a smirk. 

Just as the video ended, Fenton and Launchpad stepped into the lab from the elevator. When he saw Gyro, he immediately waved in his direction. 

“Gyro! Launchpad and I going out for lunch. Would you like to tag along?” 

“I appreciate the offer, but I just had a bite to eat not too long ago,” Gyro informed him, nodding. “Besides, it’s time I start working on my next invention!”

“Oooh, a new invention!?” Webby squeaked in delight, rushing over to stare at the blueprints she suddenly noticed on his desk.

“What is it?” Huey gasped, making his way over with an equally excited expression. Fenton laughed softly, and him and Launchpad joined the others to get a look at it as well.

“Behold: the Gearloose Grabber-Tie!” Gyro announced, unfolding his blueprints to show the awestricken crowd. “A robotic appendage designed to fasten around the wearer’s neck with a non-threatening grip and use the five-fingered apparatus at its base for clutching objects when one of the two normal arms of the user is out of commission.”

Everyone blinked in confusion.  
“Buh?” Launchpad asked.

Gyro rolled his eyes. “It’s a tie that functions as a third arm.”

“Oh!”  
“That makes sense!”

“It’s about time someone made something like that!”

As Gyro continued to explain his plans for this invention, everyone who had gathered in the lab that day watched with great interest, and he proudly relished in the company of the one thing any of his competitors would never have.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
